The real date is May 7th, 2009 and this is my first entry on BlogSpot. I worried for a long time what I'd put on. Would I try hard to impress, thereby appearing desperate? Or would I write about something happening in my life, baring all to the world... and squeezing out sympathy? Would I write of a secret past-time and in the process offend a dear friend? It's a tough choice to make, but I figured I'd be better off penning down my thoughts as they come, so I'm not typing on "WORD" and copy/paste-ing a pre-arranged composition. Rather, I'll talk about my day:
Right now, I'm supposed to be rounding off a report that's due today, but I really do not feel like it ‘cause I don’t really enjoy my job. What's my excuse- it's boring, unchallenging and, to cap it off, "eeek!!" Because I work closely with the boss, I find myself bored and un-utilized when he's away. On the other hand, when he's in town I spend a whole week prying information from him for one project or report or another, because he's never in one place. It's from one phone call to another, one visitor to anor. My job becomes that of a PA who spends her time "trying" to channel you in the right direction.
Sometimes, we develop an idea for the business, which is tailored to suit our unique needs, some celeb mentions in passing that she's not impressed with it and he begins to question the whole project. Or, I take a decision and he overthrows it, only to revert to me the following day, having sought the opinion of a more experienced friend.
Now, I enjoy the fact that I work in a capacity where I'm able to make changes to move the business forward. Unlike my previous job, I do not merely implement or carry out directives given me. I also value the “learnings” I gain under his tutelage. A civil engineer with no formal training in business has built one of the biggest fashion "strongholds" in Port Harcourt today; with an interest in the Petroleum and Furniture industries and a franchise for a European pool company to boot. I have more than enough to keep me busy as an Administrator whose job is to monitor the activities of each arm and ensure productivity. I even double as MD’s secretary and HR. But I suddenly realize that I'd never be satisfied working with my head and not my heart.
My head is in this and I'm real good at what I do [plus the pay is almost ok, (bearing in mind my qualifications], so I have little reason to protest, but...
My head is in this and I'm real good at what I do [plus the pay is almost ok, (bearing in mind my qualifications], so I have little reason to protest, but...
My heart is on a script, with a camera, microphone. My heart is in a studio, wearing jeans and brainstorming ideas to sell Viju Milk (yuck!) to Vivian Fowler students. (Lol!!) My heart is with teenagers, teaching them to build virtues that'll last them through many tough decisions as adults; teaching the girls to be disciplined, focused and virtuous, and the boys to be firm, focused and build integrity. My heart is with field missionaries, encouraging them in their calling of sacrificing their life and dreams to take God's word to the un-reached, praying for them and giving to help promote the gospel of the kingdom and its spread throughout the world. My heart is with little homeless children growing up in the streets, feeding them when they're hungry, telling them not to be like their environment, but to seek the good in others, to begin to nurture a dream for their future- it will build optimism in them- and being the one they can confide their fears to. My heart is with my lover, tending to his every need, listening to him, honoring him, bringing out the best in him and becoming... one with him and The Lover of my soul. My heart is on the streets, talking to strangers and mad men; finding out their stories and telling it to the world, just so that someone out there knows... that life doesn't begin and end in our own world.
But today, I'm living in my head and I shouldn't complain. When I have had my fill, all I have to do is unlock the door, step out of the cage and walk out to my heart. Then I will be much happier than I am right now... and I reckon I would make even more people happy.
For now, though, I gotta live up to my 100% recommendation and make my boss happy by finishing that report.
Twas real nice talking…
For now, though, I gotta live up to my 100% recommendation and make my boss happy by finishing that report.
Twas real nice talking…
Me(Diva)OnLife
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ReplyDeleteHope this works this time around. Welcome back to blogging. It must have been exhilarating to really share these thoughts. Quite possibly the same way I felt reading it. The passion that comes from within (our hearts) is what drives our plans (thoughts, dreams and hopes) into fruition. Follow your heart at the end of the day but use your mind (head) wisely in that lead. I picked up a lot of pointers on this blog. You are a star. Looking forward to more. Blog away...Shalom!
ReplyDeletereally nice....reading it got me thinking ...am i where or doing what i want (ma heart's dream) or where life has placed me based on a current need or ability.....but like was said earlier,our hearts at the end of the day is what drives our plans which is achieved through the decisions(head)we make.
ReplyDeletekeep it up........
liked the way you wrote this. When I was in PH, I worked with a small IT firm were we all complained about the pay and the fact that we had to come to work on a public holidays without bonuses.... but the funny thing was that even on weekends or days when we were not on shift everybody still came to the office...to help out, brain storm on a project. It's when I left that realized that we all were in love with the job..our hearts were in it despite the small pay and believe me, our small team of engineers did wonders. The experience left me thinking that when choosing between the ur heart and your head...one should keep in mind that your head deals in cold rational logic and doesn't believe in hope and faith hence longterm decisions made with the "head" do not always result in a truly satisfactory ending.
ReplyDeleteI hope the time when you will leave your cage and walk forever in your hearts comes quickly for I am walking in mine and it's totally exhilarating and fulfilling.
Thank you so much guys! Nothing beats the satisfaction of following your heart.
ReplyDelete@ Codrojac: I'll walk out of my cage. I may become lean after a few days of losing my "security", but I'll bounce back and gain some muscles on the way.